


10 Years

by dameofpowellestate



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1930s, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Developing Relationship, F/M, Lost Love, Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 18:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dameofpowellestate/pseuds/dameofpowellestate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Smith owns a beautiful ranch during the late 1930s. John's right hand man Jack Harkness and longtime childhood friend Donna Noble attempt to convince him to send for a woman, to find a wife. John refuses, but when a letter arrives from an old worker's daughter, Rose Tyler, requesting a job, Jack and Donna take it upon themselves to answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Dear John,  
I know it has been a long time since we’ve spoken, ten years to be precise. I know I’ve no right to ask this of you, not after everything that happened between us, but I’m afraid I need somewhere to go. I’ve recently fallen in to a rather dangerous situation with my now ex-husband and I’ve lost my job. I have nowhere else to turn, John, and I am in desperate need of help. As you may know my father died shortly after we left TARDIS ranch. I’ve no one else. I wouldn’t be writing you if I did. I am not asking for much, just a job and a place to sleep. Please, John, I will do anything. I am hoping we can look past what happened between us all those years ago and remember the good times, growing up together. Anyway, please let me know as soon as you can. I’m afraid I’m losing my apartment in a few days, eight to be exact. Give Donna and Wilf my love._

_Sincerely,  
Rose Marion Tyler_

Donna had read this letter no less than fifteen times since it had arrived in the mail earlier in the day. She didn’t make a habit of opening John’s mail but when she saw who it was from she knew the chances of him opening it were slim to none. Rose’s absence on the ranch was still as strong as it was when she’d left ten years ago, and it had done quite a number on John, so much so that he was still dealing with the effects of it.

Donna had decided showing it to John, at least right away, wasn’t the best idea. Instead she sat in the sitting room waiting for Jack. He met her in there most days when she took her break right after lunch. Since they’d hired Jack a few years back she’d grown to love the man and had often talked about her childhood friend Rose, so to say Jack was aware of the things that had taken place would be an understatement, Jack was pretty sure he’d actually been there when they took place due to the number of times he’s heard the stories.

Before Jack had time to sit down Donna was handing him the letter, telling him to read it.

“He’s not going to like this and, for that reason, I think we should tell her to come,” he said, letter held in his hands, flashing Donna his best dimpled smile. “How long are we gonna have to work on convincing John he needs a woman at his side before action is taken? If the things you’ve told me are true then this may just be the push he needs.”

“I know, Jack, the day she left… it was hard on all of us, but John never recovered. He’s not going to like it and she’s not going to like the man he’s become either. He isn’t the John she knows anymore. He’s just so damn broken, Jack. You know those old romance stories about the two people that are so in love and so perfect for each other that they actually need each other? That’s Rose and John… but he blew it. He knows he went and blew it and he hates himself for it but he still thinks he made the right decision,” she said, running a hand through her fiery hair. “Besides, she said she’s in danger, Jack. I’m writing her as soon as we’re done here whether John likes it or even knows about it. I’m not telling her she can’t come home.”

“So we try talkin’ to him again, and by we, I mean you, and see where he’s at. Maybe he’d be willin’ to let her come back. And if not, well, she’s coming anyway,” Jack said, folding the letter back up and placing it in the envelope. “We all know how much smoother things would run around this place if John finally got himself a lady or even if there was just another woman on this ranch, you can’t keep doing it all.”

Donna smiled at her friend affectionately. “Thanks, Jack, don’t know where John and I would be without you,” she said, standing up. “I mean it though, Jack, thanks,” she continued, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she left the sitting room to find John. She was going to see to it that their Rose came home, whether John gave the okay or not.

\----

Rose had spent the last week looking for work, coming up empty every time. She was still in a relatively small town so finding work was a bit of an issue. After her ex-husband had come into her last job drunk and looking for her, she’d been fired. She knew she needed to get out of this town before he actually found her this time. She’d been running since the divorce was finalized and hadn’t been able to stop.

Only now, as she packed up all the things in her tiny apartment that she could carry, did she start worrying about where she’d go next. Money was tight, very tight, the divorce had taken quite a bit of her money and after losing her job the rest of it had gone to staying afloat while she kept looking for another job. The letter to John had been sent a week ago and she’d hoped she would have heard back by now, but it was obvious to her at this point, he’d probably not even opened the letter. She knew it was a risk, writing him, but she had hoped that maybe everything they’d been through had left some kind of compassion in that heart of his, no matter how things had ended. Rose hadn’t seen John in ten years, hadn’t heard from him either. She’d tried to keep in touch the first few years she’d been gone. She wrote him about her father and about her wedding but never received anything back from him. She’d eventually given up, figuring he had no interest in continuing their friendship. It broke her heart, but she there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

\----

“John, I really don’t know how much more of this I can take!” Donna said, not bothering to knock before entering her friend’s study. Having grown up with John, Donna knew that they best way to get her ornery friend to listen was to be upfront. And, of course, it always helped to be a little angry.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Donna,” he said in an almost in a bored tone.

“Look, I’m not your wife, John, and I am tired of doing all the work around here that a wife should be doing. Have you ever thought that maybe one day I’d like to actually get married?” she asked, sitting down in the chair across from his desk.

John looked up from his paper work instantly, his eyes wide with shock. “What? D-Donna, I know we’ve been friends our whole lives and yes, you do a lot of work that a wife should do, but you need to know that I am not interested in you... in that way.”

“I don’t want to marry you, you nitwit! What I mean is, how am I supposed to get married when I’m doing a wife’s work for another man? You need to get yourself hitched!”

John sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Look, I am not interested. I’ve been engaged once before and I’m sure you remember how that turned out. Traded me in for someone with more land, didn’t she? I’m done, Donna, I can’t do that anymore. I’ve got a ranch to run; I can’t waste time tryin’ to find someone that won’t run off.”

“Once upon a time you had a beautiful young woman that was more than willing to marry your sorry ass! And what did you do? You rejected her before she even finished telling you she wanted to marry you!” Donna said, shaking her head. “Don’t go blamin’ all your brokenness on the fact you got dizzy with some dame that played you. She wouldn’t have even come ‘round if you’d been brave and married Rose.”

“Don’t… don’t bring Rose into this. That was ten years ago, Donna. She was young and was willing to marry me because the death of my parents called for it, I couldn’t have asked her to do that, now stop bringing her up. Last I heard she married some man and was plenty happy.”

Donna let out a sigh. “Don’t expect me to stay around forever, John. One day a man may come along that thinks I’m worth marryin’ and you had best believe I’ll get out of here faster than you can blink,” she said with a kind smile. “John, I am asking you as your friend, please just give marriage another go.” She stood and made her way to the door, stopping just outside. “Oh, and for what it’s worth, I heard she’s divorced.”  
With that said, Donna exited the room and continued about her duties for the day.

\----

“John, mind we talk?” Jack asked as he stood in the large doorway of the barn. He’d searched everywhere for his friend before finding him brushing his horse.

“If you’re here to talk about me gettin’ hitched, you can forget it… I’ve already had this talk with Donna once today,” John said, running the brush over the horse’s back.

“Johnny, come on. You know how much good it would do for the ranch. Besides you need to think of Donna. You’re gonna wear her out! She can’t keep doing everything for you,” he said, moving to stand closer to his friend, leaning against the gate of one of the horse stalls.

“She could leave if she wanted to, she could quit!” he said, doing his best to keep his temper in check.

“What and leave the man she considers to be a brother? You’d fail without her and you know it. There’d be no one around her to take care of anything, she wouldn’t do that to you. You owe it to her to find yourself a wife. You owe it to yourself too, John. You ever consider that finding someone you love you might just make you happy?” Jack asked.

“I don’t need to be happy… I just need to keep this ranch up and running. With all these ranches shutting down around us we have a chance to do a lot of expanding. Land is going for less than 50 cents an acre. I don’t have time to waste on a damn woman. In case you haven’t noticed the draught and depression did a number on most of the ranches out here.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed… I’ve also noticed that we’re still doing as well as we always have. You have time to spare for a woman; the only thing is you don’t want to. You’re so damn scared of getting hurt that you can’t look past that. I only hope you come to your damn sense and stop actin’ like a jackass. Again, you know full well havin’ a wife would be good for the ranch. “

John let out a sigh. “I’m just tired, Jack… I don’t enjoy being alone but I’ve always screwed things up and I’m not willing to risk everything for some woman again. I can’t do it,” he said, his shoulders dropping in defeat. “I just can’t.”

Jack knew then he and Donna had made the right decision, not only for Rose, but for John as well. Rose was going to be safe and maybe John would finally come to his senses. It was so painfully obvious John had no intention of doing anything about getting married himself, so in Jack’s mind that left things up to him and Donna.

\----

Rose had all her belongings packed neatly in two suitcases that now sat by the door. It was her last few hours in her tiny flat. She had to be out by 4pm, 4 hours until she was without a home, 4 hours to figure out what to do with her sad excuse for a life. It was times like this she missed her mom and dad to the point of pain. Her mother had died when she was still very little but Rose had always loved her because Pete spoke of her often.

She checked her mailbox one last time in the hopes maybe, just maybe, John had simply taken a while to respond to her letter. When she opened her mailbox and retrieved the letter that waited inside, she’d never felt so relieved in her life. She didn’t yet know what the answer was but to have an answer was enough to relieve some of the weight that had been sitting heavily on her shoulders for the past few weeks.  
At the sight of the familiar sloppy hand writing on the envelope Rose couldn’t help but smile. She truly did miss TARDIS ranch, she’d grown up there, it was more her home and any other place had ever been.

_Dear Rose,  
To say I was shocked to receive your letter would be an understatement; however, it was still a pleasure to hear from you. I am pleased to say that we are in fact in need of help around the ranch. Donna is currently doing all the caretaking and overseeing on the ranch and I’m sure she’d be very pleased to have some help. Enclosed is a train ticket due to leave the day your apartment contract is up. I am truly sorry to hear about your marriage and most of all of the fate of your dear mother and father. I will be expecting your arrival any day and will prepare your old room._

_Yours,  
John_

Rose didn’t waste any time, gathering up her bags as soon as she put the letter back into its envelope. She was going home. She wiped the tears from her eyes and hailed a cab to take her to the train station. She’d missed TARDIS ranch, she’d missed the smell of the land and the excitement of riding a horse. But, Most of all she’d missed the people she’d left behind. She knew the moment she returned Donna would give her a stern talking to about the lack of letters over the last 10 years. She knew Wilf would be so happy to see her he’d easily forget that she hadn’t written and wrap her in a warm hug. She hoped John would do the same, that their past would be forgotten, that he’d forgiven her for suggesting they marry and then for running away and never looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose arrived at the train station in the town nearest TARDIS Ranch to find Donna already there waiting for her. Both of them forgot that it had been ten years since they’d seen each other and they forgot that neither of them had kept in touch as they rushed towards each other, embracing immediately.

“Oh, Rose, I’ve miss you so much,” Donna said, holding the slightly younger girl tightly, tears brimming her eyes.

“I’ve missed you too, Donna. Missed you most of all,” she said, pulling back to get a good look at her friend.

“Oh, there’s no need for fibbing, Rosie, you and I both know who you missed the most,” Donna said, taking one of Rose’s bags and walking her out towards the car. “You’ve grown up well, Rosie… absolute doll. Fancy clothes to boot! I love your hat, I’ve always loved hats,” Donna said, smiling.

“You too, Donna… but don’t try to cover up that comment about John with a compliment,” Rose said, not missing any of Donna’s tricks, even after ten years. “So he’s really okay with me coming back? His letter was nice and all but,” she said, still slightly unsure of the situation. It didn’t matter how happy she was to be away from the city, to be at the one place she knew as home, if it wasn’t what everyone wanted.

“He’s fine, Rose, no need to worry about him.”

“How is everything at the ranch? How’s Wilf? I’ve missed that old man,” Rose said. She’d always been close with Donna’s grandfather. Growing up Rose often played out in the pasture and Wilf would always set her on the back of one of the cows, who she’d named Bunny, letting her sit on the cow while it grazed. Rose loved Wilf like she would her own grandfather.

“You know gramps, still working out with the cattle damn near every day. He’s gettin’ old, Rosie, but he’s made no move to retire, still workin’ as hard as he was when he was 20! Though he may be movin’ a bit slower. We’ve gotten a few new cowhands since you and your paw left. We hired Mickey a few years back and Jack came around shortly after you left. He’d been riding the trains lookin’ for work and he was so damn charming John and I hired him right away,” she said with a grin. “And you’ll see, he’ll charm the britches right off of ya!” she said, starting up the car.

“Donna Noble, are you smitten?” she asked with a smirk.

“Oh, of course not, Rosie, that man is just ridiculously charming, you’ll see.”

“And John, how’s he been? Believe it or not I have missed him. The relationship we had before I ruined it anyway,” she said, looking out the car window as they drove through a place that was so familiar to her but at the same time so different. The town had changed a lot in the past 10 years, looking much more modern than it had the day she’d taken the train out of town.

“He’s well… he’s even more stubborn than he was when you left. He doesn’t do anything but work. He’s lonely, Rose, and he’s miserable. You can see it when you look at him. His smile doesn’t really shine like it used to. He was hurt pretty badly about six years ago. He was engaged to this horrible woman, though he was completely blind to it, and few day before the wedding she ran off with a nearby rancher that at the time had more land and money than we did. They’re going out of business though. John’s going to enjoy buying out their land and cattle,”

“I-I’m sorry to hear about that, Donna,” Rose said, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. This whole situation was turning out to be even more awkward than she’d imagined. She knew it would be on some level, it had been ten years since she’d seen him. Things hadn’t ended on the best of terms and instead of handling it like the friends they were they’d both run from it, quite literally for Rose.

\----

“Where in the hell is Donna? Lunch was probably hours ago,” Mickey said as he rode with the rest of the men back towards the ranch. “I’m starved!” he grumbled, the afternoon sun wearing on his nerves.

“Boy, my Donna ain’t around to wait on you hand a foot!” Wilf said from atop his horse as he rode next to the much younger boy. “If she had important business to take care of them I’m sure she left the job of feedin’ us to someone just as capable,”

The men had just finished repairing a long section of fencing that had taken some damage from one of the bulls. They were all tired and hungry, but days were long on the ranch. As soon as they were finished with lunch they would be right back to work.

“She, uh… she had to go into town this morning, should be back anytime now,” Jack said, doing his best to pass the subject up, knowing full well where Donna had gone.

“She went into town today and didn’t tell me?” John asked. “That’s not like her. She always tells me when she’s taking the car,” John said. “Is she up to something, Jack?”

“Nothing that I know of, but you know Donna, she could have gone to town to shop for hats and none of us would ever know… or see a single hat,” He said and then cringed at his own words.

John shot Jack a suspicious glare but dropped the issue.

“But what are we going to eat?” Mickey asked again while the other men just shook their heads and laughed.

When they finally approached the ranch, John saw that the car was back which meant Donna had returned from her strange trip into town. John sped up, his horse coming alongside the car next to the driver’s side.

“Donna, where have you been? Mickey was right worried lunch would be ready and Jack was certain that you,” John said before the words died in his throat. His eyes fell on the blonde getting out of the passenger side of the car. Not just any blonde but Rose Tyler. She was here, on his ranch, for the first time in ten years. Donna had brought Rose Tyler to his ranch without his permission. It was then he noticed Jack had too stopped and was watching him with a curious look, and it was in that moment he knew he’s been played. His friends had fooled him, his friends had brought Rose Tyler back in some weird attempt to get him hitched. John shot Jack a harsh look before taking off at a gallop, heading straight back out to the pasture.

Rose, however, was completely unaware of the fact John had just taken off because she was far too busy taking in the sights and smells of the home she’d left behind. She’d missed this place terribly. She took in the sight of the house she’d grown up in, with its two stories and giant wrap around porch. As she looked away from the house and out across the yard and into the pasture, it was then she noticed Wilf and two other cowhands approaching on horseback.

Wilf dismounted his horse in record time for an old man and had Rose wrapped in his arms even faster. “Hey there, turnip,” he said, squeezing her as hard as he possibly could. “It’s been too damn long since I seen that face of yours.”

“Oh, Wilf, you don’t look a day over 40, it couldn’t have been too long,” she shot back happily.

“You’ve always been so sweet, Rosie. Welcome home,” he said before planting a kiss on the top of her head.

\----

Donna helped Rose up to the room that had one time been hers. It looked exactly the way she’d left it, though cleaner. “I can’t believe my old room is still empty,” Rose said with a smile.

“Mhmm, still two doors down from John’s too,” Donna said, shooting her friend a look.

“Donna, I don’t know what you’re thinking, well I do actually, and it’s not going to happen. I’ve moved on, I’m over that. I was fifteen and foolish, it was a long time ago. I’ve been married, I’ve done that life and it sure as hell didn’t work out for me,” she said, shaking her head.

“How bad was it, Rose… in your letter you said you were in danger? How bad?” Donna asked, taking a seat at the end of the bed that sat in the center of the room.

“I don’t like speaking of it much. He was a bit of a drunk… liked to rough me up a bit sometimes. Anyway, he didn’t much like me running out and he’s been lookin’ for me,” she said with a shrug. “It’s nothin’ Donna, honest.”

“Don’t sound like nothing,” she said. “But just know, whatever you need… I’ll make sure you get it. We really have missed you around here, Rosie. You were a part of this family, still are. I do however have a confession to make. John didn’t write the letter. Now, before you get upset...”

“What do you mean he didn’t write the letter? I never would have come if I knew he didn’t want me here! Donna, how could you do this? You’ve brought me back into his home without his permission?” Rose asked, instantly pacing the room that had once been the room she’d grown up in.

“Rosie, none of this is about him okay? I knew you’d never agree to come if that letter didn’t come from him and he never would have opened the damn thing because he’s so stubborn! You said in your letter you had nowhere else to go. You said you were in danger, what was I supposed to do? If he’d been man enough to open it then he’d have sent for you right away, thing is, he wasn’t. Rose, I’ve wanted you to come home for years, we all have. It’s been different around here ever since you left.”

“Donna, it can’t have been that different, I was just a cowhands daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve miss you and hell, I’ve even missed John…”

“Oh stop it! You know what you meant to us, all of us. John’s parents loved you dearly! We all loved you, you weren’t just some cowhand’s daughter, you were family, both you and Pete!”

“Then why didn’t anyone come to his funeral?”

“No one knew, none of us knew. I didn’t know til I read your letter,” She said.

“I sent a letter when he died, Donna, I sent it to John… Guess you were right about him not readin’ my letters,” She said shaking her head, tears filling her eyes.

“I don’t know why he… I can’t speak for him, Rose. I don’t know why he does the things he does and I’m not going to defend him, but I will say that he did care for you when you were here, he loved you and that didn’t just go away when you did. He’s just, he’s always got a reason for doing things and lord knows he’s the only one that’ll understand them. I leave you to unpack, Rosie,” Donna said, pulling her friend into a tight hug before leaving.

\----

Jack and Donna both sat extremely still before the desk of their longtime friend. He’d called them in 5 minutes ago and hadn’t done anything but stare at them. They knew he was upset, they were fairly certain the entire ranch knew he was upset.

“John look…” Donna began but he held his hand up to stop her instantly.

“No, I’m talkin’ first, Donna,” he said. “The other day you tried to bring Rose up but and I told you not to bring Rose into this, this mess of you two tryin’ to get me hitched, but what do you do? You bring her here instead? You bring her to the ranch. I know you two are desperate to get me married, lord knows why, but I don’t want it,” he said.

“John, listen to me! She sent a letter askin’ to come home. She’s had a hard time of it lately and she needed a place to go. It doesn’t have to have anything to do with marriage if you don’t want it to, though you’d be wise to think about it. She said she’d gotten herself into a dangerous spot with her ex-husband, do you want me to send her back? Do you mean to tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing? Because, if so, then you are a sorry excuse for a man,” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, the look on her face saying she was nowhere near dropping the subject of getting him married.

“Yeah, we wrote her and we didn’t tell you because both of us knew you never would have opened the letter in the first place. You’re so caught up what that Poisson dame did to you that you wouldn’t know what love was if it bit you on the ass, John!” Jack said from his spot, also clearly fed up with John’s stubbornness.

“If I had known that she was in trouble I would have told her to come ages ago… the only thing is I didn’t know. I didn’t even know she was in trouble because you kept it from me. Just because things between us ended a little badly doesn’t mean I don’t, that I wouldn’t want her here,” he said. “But I didn’t get the damn option to make that decision, you two, in an attempt to get me married, took it into your own hands. I’m glad she’s here and safe, but that doesn’t mean I’m not upset with the fact you two went behind my back.

“I’ve told you I don’t have an interest in gettin’ myself tied down to a woman, even if it’s Rose… especially if it’s Rose. I rejected her ten years ago for good and valid reasons, so it’s not my fault she ran off,” he said, the bitterness returning to his voice.

“Yes, well, as I’ve said, you were a damn fool ten years ago and clearly you’re just a big a fool if not more for looking a second chance as anything but. Did you know Pete died a few years after she left? If I had to guess, I’d say that poor girl living in a city all by herself had no choice but to get married. A 17 year old girl lost the only family she had and the family she grew up with didn’t even show up to the wedding. I wonder why that is John, she seemed pretty certain she sent you a letter about Pete and the wedding.”

“I’ve thrown away every letter she’s sent,” he said honestly, his face resolve breaking from the news, “I didn’t… I couldn’t have her writing me, I couldn’t have that and not… it’s none of your business why I never opened them,” He said regaining his composure.

“Look, I think we’re done here, John, but let me tell you one thing… you hurt that girl and you’ll be on the other end of a Noble smack,” she said before leaving the room with a sweep of skirts and fiery hair.

“I’m sure you’ve gotten your fair share of Noble smacks, but they never get easier to take, I suggest you watch it,” Jack said before following Donna from the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose woke up the next morning to an insistent tapping on her shoulder. She rolled over in the direction of the tapping and opened her eyes. As her eyes focused she took in the sight of a tall dark haired man and let out a yelp.

“Ah, come on, Rosie, is that anyway to greet your new favorite man?” Jack asked from where he was standing beside her bed. “I know we haven’t met yet but, trust me, we’ll be fast friends,” he said with a wink.

“You think you’ve made a good impression sneaking into my room and waking me?” Rose asked, pulling her covers up over her nightgown clad body.

“Oh, yes, ma’am,” he said, eyeing her. “I came to bring you your list of duties. John wrote them out this morning and asked if I’d deliver them to you at breakfast, but you weren’t there so I had no choice but to wake you.”

“You couldn’t have knocked?”

“I tired that, you were in here sleepin’ like a bear in the winter time.”

“It was a very long train ride,” she said in her defense, reaching a hand out from under the covers to snatch the list from him. She sighed as she read through it. It wasn’t an unhappy sigh because everything on this list was things she’d done when she was living here before. She’d missed the work, missed being outdoors, she’d even missed cooking meals for everyone.

“Suppose he didn’t want to give me the list himself, did he? Too busy or just upset I’m here?” she asked, sliding out of bed on the side Jack wasn’t standing on. Rose wanted to know how John felt about her being here and it was clear John wasn’t going to tell her himself.

“He’s a busy man, Rose, but he’s also stubborn, though I’m sure you already know that,” Jack said, heading toward her door.

“Thanks for the list, Jack… Oh, and next time you need to wake me, knock louder,” she said, flashing him a grin.

\----

As soon as Rose was finished bathing and had dressed for the day, she made her way to the kitchen to begin preparations for lunch.

“What a pleasant surprise, finally decided to join the land of the living,” Donna said, her hands covered in flour as she kneads the dough.

“Yes, thank you for sending Mr. Dimples to wake me.”

“Ah, so you’ve met Jack then? Isn’t he lovely?” Donna asked, pointing Rose to the pot of chicken boiling.

“Oh, yeah, just charming,” Rose said, rolling her eyes. “Sorry I slept in, Donna, long train ride,” she said.

“Don’t worry, dear, we managed just fine without you. Besides wouldn’t want to deny Jack the pleasure of wakin’ you. Now, you know the drill, we’ve got to get a move on if we want the lunch hot and ready when the men get in from the pasture,” Donna said as she put the bread in the oven. “Make sure that chicken boils then start pulling it off the bone, oh what am I saying? You know what to do Rosie.”

“How did you do this every day by yourself, Donna?” she asked.

“Just had to start a bit earlier. Now, get a move on.”

Rose and Donna had the lunch ready and out on the tables that sat behind the house as the men were arriving. As everyone gathered around the table it became clear that John was not among them.

“Where is John then? You lot didn’t leave him behind, did you?” Donna asked.

“He rode straight to the barn when we returned, claimed he wasn’t hungry,” Jack said, shooting Donna a look.

Across the table another conversation breaks out as Mickey sits down next to Rose. “Hello, I’m Mickey Smith, you must be Rose. I’ve heard all about you,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, I hope you haven’t heard anything too embarrassin’,” she said, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “Keep in mind I was still pretty young last time I was here, don’t hold it against me.”

“Oh, I’d never, pretty little thing like you, I’d never hold anything against you,” he said and as soon as he turned to his plate of food he received a swift kick from Wilf across the table, who shot him a look.

“You’ll have to excuse Mickey; he envies Jack’s ways with the ladies but doesn’t really have the skill,” Wilf said, reaching over to pat Rose’s hand. “Feel free to ignore him.”

“That’s quite alright, Wilf, no harm done,” Rose said, giving Mickey a kind smile.

“So anyway, you John and Donna go way back then? Tell me, has John always been this… rough?” Mickey asked.

“Well, I haven’t… seen him since I’ve arrived but from what I’ve heard, no. When we were growing up John was always smilin’ and goofing off. Wasn’t he, Donna? He was always happy.”

“Oh, yes, John and Rose got us into trouble all the time. As soon as Rose was old enough to run around with us, the two were inseparable. It was annoying really, if John was somewhere, Rose was surely following and it went the other way too. John was always lookin’ after her like she was some fragile bird.”

“Don’t be silly, Donna, we were just close, but she’s right, John and I got into trouble a lot… and we dragged Donna along with us as much as we could,” she said, giving her friend a grin.

“I miss those days,” Donna said softly before turning back to her food.

“Me too, Donna, me too.”

\----

“Donna, we’ve got to figure out how to get these two together. If they don’t get hitched they at least deserve a decent chance at becoming friends again. John’s really muddying this up with his refusal to even see her,” Jack said as he and Donna sat in the sitting room sharing a pitcher of lemonade.

“I know it, Jack, he’s so damn stubborn,” she said, shaking her head. “We’ve got to figure out a way to get them together and I think I have just the thing. Tomorrow I’m supposed to go with John up to the Johnson Ranch to bargain over some land seein’ as how they’re going out of business in a few days. You know how John always takes me to those meetings on account of it looks good to bring a wife to chat with the other wife. Well, I’ll pretend to be ill and John will have no choice but to take Rose seein’ as how she’s the only other female on this blessed ranch,” Donna said, smiling into her lemonade at the brilliance of her plan.

“Donna Noble, you are a damn genius. They’ll never see it coming, and I betcha anything Rose’ll be great and impress him,” Jack said.

“No doubt about that, Jack, she’ll be great… Rose was always good with business even when she was younger. She always had great ideas, took after Pete. Pete working here was one of the reasons we thrived from the start. He was always comin’ up with ways to make taking care of this place easier.”

“Well, it’s settled. You’ll pretend to be sick and Rose will have to go with him. Oh it’s goin’ to work out perfectly, if he ain’t an ass,” Jack said.

“No doubt he will be, but I’m sure when those two start becoming friends again he’ll start to be more like himself. Jack, you should have seen those two together. It almost made me sick how prefect for each other they were.”

“Well, if things work out I will get to see it, Donna.”

\----

“How did she do today?” John asked as Donna entered his office.

“Why don’t you go ask her? I’m sure she’d be glad to see you,” she said, sitting down in her normal chair across from his desk.

Donna and John always sat together in the evenings to go over the events of the day. Since John’s parents passed and John began running things it became their way of keeping things on track and still spending time together, just the two of them. Since John never took time to have any fun this was the only way Donna ever really got to spend quality time with the man she considered her brother.

“How did she do, Donna? Is she happy here?” he asked again, ignoring her suggestion completely.

“She did fine, John, she’s just as good as she was all those years ago… though she a much better cook now,” she said with a small laugh. “Remember that time she first started helping in the kitchen and she burnt all the bread that had been made for the day? Poor dear, bless her heart.”

Despite himself John chuckled at the memory. “I do remember. So she’s happy then?”

“I think so, she says she’s glad to be home. This place was as much her home as it was ours, she grew up here too.”

“I know, Donna, I know.”

“I’m sure she’d like to see you, it’s been ten years, John. She still speaks fondly of you, despite what happened.”

“I should think so, I did what was best, and she can’t fault me for that.”

“She sure as hell can. And she sure as hell can blame you for never opening a damn letter; if I were her I’d be livid with you.”

“Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now,” he said.

“Mickey’s taken a liking to Rosie.”

John looked up briefly. “Is that so? Well, of course he has, beautiful young women don’t normally live on ranches unmarried.”

Donna shot him a look and cleared her throat.

“Other than you, of course, Donna.”

“All I’m saying is you’d better start worrying about someone stealing your girl.”

“What? I’ve told you time and again she ain’t my girl, and besides, Mickey? He is not her type.”

“Oh, and you think after ten years you know her type?” Donna asked.

“Of course I do! She can’t have changed that much in ten years, right?”

“You wouldn’t know, would you? You haven’t taken the time to even see her. She’s a woman now, John, beautiful, smart, and I’m sure she’s developed a fine taste in men.”

“Well, a fine taste in men would leave Mickey out wouldn’t it?” John said smugly.

“My guess is it would leave you out too,” Donna said just as smugly.

\----

The day was over; dinner had been served and cleaned up. It was dusk and everyone was settling down for the night, everyone except Rose. She hadn’t had time to explore the home she’d left all those years ago and there was one place she’d been dying to go. The stable.

Her father used to bring her here in the evening, a lantern leading their way in the dusk just in case it got too dark for them to see. Pete had always been calmed by being with the horses, grooming them after a hard day; he always said the horses deserved a nice reward after a hard day at work too, so Rose too had learned to take comfort in that, especially when she was in her last few years at the ranch.

As she made her way into the stable, a lantern held in front of her, she was surprised it looked very much the same it had when she was a kid. Smelled the same, felt the same, and she instantly felt herself relax. The smell of the horses, the smell of the old wood and the hay made her think of her father, the times they’d spent in here after a hard day’s work.

She made her way to the back of the stable, looking at each horse as she passed their stall. She recognized a few of them, though all were much older now. As she reached the back corner stall she nearly dropped her lantern, standing there in that stall was her horse, the horse John and his parents had given her for her 10th birthday. As she moved toward the stall, tears in her eyes, she remembered the day they’d given it to her.

One of the horses on the ranch had given birth just a few days before to a beautiful palomino colt. Rose hadn’t seen John the entire day of her birthday and she remembered how devastated she was because he was normally waiting outside her door on a normal day. As everyone was enjoying their lunch, congratulating Rose on becoming ten, a fifteen year old John came around the corner with the colt, a pink satin ribbon tied around her neck. Rose had squealed with joy and hugged John so tightly she was sure he hadn’t been able to breathe.

She’d loved that horse, had raised it and trained it all on her own, and here it was, before her now, 15 years later.

Rose stood outside the gate of the stall for a moment, her fingers tracing the worn paint on that said ‘Applegrass’ in pink. “I’m sure you regret that name now as much as I do. What can I say? I was just a little girl,” Rose said to her horse fondly.

“Oh, you beautiful thing, I’ve missed you,” she said, moving to pick up a brush for the rack. “I was so sad I had to leave you,” she said, moving her horse out of the stall to begin brushing her.

“I never could get rid of her,” someone said from a few feet away.

Rose jumped slightly, turning to see where the voice had come from. In the soft glow of the lantern she could make out John’s handsome face. She’d known it was him, of course, she’d remember the sound of his voice for the rest of her life. He looked good, really good, the last ten years had done him well and Rose couldn’t help but notice.

“John, you shouldn’t sneak up on ladies grooming horses,” she said, turning back to the horse.

“I’m sorry, I was coming to check on the horses and… anyway. I’m glad you found her. She’s missed you. I never thought it possible for a horse to love a person but that horse loves you, Rose,” he said, moving to lean against the gate to another stall.

“Have you missed me then?” she asked.

“Well, of course I have… I, what kind of question is that, Rose? We grew up together, we were friends.”

“Is that why you never read any of my letters then? Donna told me you never received an invitation to my father’s funeral. I was there for you when your parents died, if you don’t remember.”

“Rose… I-I’m sorry. If I’d known that’s what was in the letter I would have opened it.”

“That’s the thing about letters, John, you have to open them before you can know what’s inside. Sent you an invitation to the wedding, though now I’m glad you missed it but at the time I was hurt. I’d be living in some shelter or in some alley if Donna hadn’t opened my last one.”

“What do you want me to say, Rose? I’m sorry for not opening your letters? I’m sorry I’m such a terrible man that I don’t open mail from a girl that ran off 10 years ago without saying goodbye? Because I am sorry, I’m sorry I missed those things, Rose, I’m sorry we weren’t there for you when your paw died, but bein’ sorry ain’t gonna fix it!” he said, crossing his arms, his words sloppier as anger filled his chest.

“I didn’t think there was a point to sayin’ goodbye. You’d already done that bit, but it’s nice to know you still care,” she said, looking at him, her face completely vulnerable for a moment before turning to lead Applegrass back into her stable.

“Of course I still care! I didn’t just stop caring the day you left. I mean… I remember when you were all pink and new. I was there the day you were born and I was there the day your ma died. I’ve known you practically my whole life, that doesn’t just go away,” he said, shaking his head.

“You’re right it doesn’t but it obviously doesn’t mean enough for you to open a damn letter,” she said, placing the brush back in the rack.

“Yeah, well, you’re here now so there won’t be any more letters for me not to open.”

“You’re right, there will just be me to avoid. Good night, John,” she said, picking up her lantern and heading for the exit.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning had turned out to be the beginning of a very long day. Rose had gotten up before dawn to get breakfast started. She had expected to see Donna in the kitchen already working but instead, found herself alone for a good ten minutes before she was joined by the other woman. 

“Running a little late this morning, Donna,” Rose teased as she began cracking the eggs she’d gathered the night before.

“Sorry about that, Rosie, I didn’t sleep too well last night,” Donna said, pulling her apron over her head. “So, have you seen John at all yet?” Donna asked.

“Actually, yes.”

“And? What happened? Did he drop to his knees and beg forgiveness for being an ass?”

Rose scoffed, “Please, like that’s ever going to happen. We had a bit of a fight I guess. I told him I knew he never opened my letters, he said he was sorry and he still cares for me… I suppose it went alright, I just can’t let him affect me like he did all those years ago. Things are different now, he’s different.”

“He’s not the only one who’s different, Rosie. You’re different too,” Donna said, pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket and coughing into it. “In a good way though. You’ve grown into quite a strong woman. I’m proud of you,” Donna said before coughing again. 

“You feeling okay?” 

“Actually no, I think I need to lay down. Rose you can handle this right? I’m sure I just need a little bit of rest. Come get me after breakfast,” Donna said before stumbling out of the kitchen, dropping the act as soon as she was out of Rose’s sight. It’s been years since Donna’s had a day off, as soon as she got Rose sorted and out with John she was going to enjoy it.

\----

As soon as breakfast was put on the table Rose hurried up the stairs to Donna’s room, not eating breakfast herself because she was far too worried about her friend.

Rose knocked softly on Donna’s door before entering, finding her friend buried deep under the blankets on her bed. “You know how I know you’re sick? Because in all our years growing up, you never took one day off. Remember that time you had a horrible cough and a temperature and you still managed to clean the stable?” Rose said, moving to stand beside her friend’s bed.

Donna made an unintelligible sound from under her covers before finally turning to look at Rose. “I don’t think I can work today, Rosie. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright! Do you want me to call for the doctor? Do you still send for Dr. Whitman?” 

“No, I’ll just sleep it off. I do need you to do me a favor,” Donna said, making a show of trying to sit up. “I was supposed to go with John to a meeting today, I need you to go in my place. Now, before you say no, I realize things are probably a little rough for you guys right now, but I can’t do and you and I both know how much better it works when a woman goes.”

“Rough is nowhere near what’s going on between me and John,” Rose said, perching on the end of Donna’s bed. “But I’ll do this for you.”

“I knew I let you come back for a reason,” Donna teased before lying back down. “He’ll be waitin’ for me after lunch. Don’t let him talk you out of goin’ either.”

“Yes, ma’am. Now, get some rest.”

\----

After Rose served lunch she went to clean herself up, she didn’t think John would appreciate her smelling of flour and sweat. She was even more certain he wouldn’t be happy with the fact Donna was sick. Rose was feeling a bit apprehensive about going anywhere with John after their conversation last night. Of course she’d known things between them would be awkward but what she hadn’t expected was how much it would affect her.

She honestly didn’t think what happened ten years ago would affect their friendship as much as it had. They’d been friends for her whole life and she made one mistake, or what she felt was a mistake, and it had completely ruined everything.

Rose quickly bathed and changed into one of the nicer outfits she’d brought with her. It was a dark blue dress that was fitted down to the yellow belt across the waist and flared into a skirt that fell just past her knees. It was one of her favorite dresses, one that she had often worn to work. She pulled her hair back into something a bit neater, before she was satisfied with how she looked.

Checking the time, Rose realized needed to find John before he went looking for Donna. She slipped on a pair of sensible brown leather shoes, knowing walking in the one pair of heels she owned would not be wise today, and left to find John.

\----

She found him the first place she looked, his office. 

“Looks just the same as the last time I was in here… though it was still your dad’s office,” she said softly from the doorway.

John’s head snapped up from the papers he seemed to be organizing. “Yeah, didn’t really see the need to change it,” he said with a shrug. “Is there a reason you’re here, Rose?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you’d heard but Donna is sick today. She asked me to go with you this afternoon,” she said from the doorway.

“Oh that won’t be necessary, I can go alone.”

“Don’t be stubborn, John, we both know it goes better if you bring a woman. Someone has to make sure the dim wife doesn’t get herself wrapped up in the deal right? What better way to do that than bring another dim woman to keep the other entertained,” she said with a small smile.

“Well neither you nor Donna are dim… this woman however, is. I suppose it would be alright if you came along,” he said, stuffing his papers into his dark leather brief case before joining her. “We’d better get a move on, we’ve got to be there in a half hour,” he said. 

\----

The car ride there started out to be the most awkward experience Rose had had since she arrived back at the ranch. Neither of them had said a word to the other since they’d left his office.

Rose said in the passenger seat, her fingers playing with the hem of her dress nervously as she worked herself up to break the silence. “Is there anything I need to know before we get there?” she asked quietly.

“Yes.”

“Do you think you might be interested in sharing then? I can’t read your mind.”

“I was engaged to this woman… years ago. The man she’s married to now, his ranch was doing better during the drought, so she left me,” he spoke quietly. “But as it turns out, I’m going to buy all his land today, they’ve gone out of business,” he said with a satisfied grin. 

“Oh… so this probably won’t turn out to be a nice visit then?”

“I suppose not. You’ll be fine. You’ve always been good at sticking up for yourself Rose. Remember when you were fourteen and my cousin Harry came down for a visit? I’ve still never seen a punch quite like that before.”

She chuckled softly, “He was sleazy,” she said with a shrug. “Deserved it.”

\----

Rose and Reinette were led into the sitting room just outside the office where John and William were doing business.

Rose was surprised when she laid eyes on the woman John had been engaged to. The woman was blonde and gorgeous, no doubt about that, but looking at her one could tell she wasn’t the nicest. Talking to her made that even more evident. It was obvious the woman thought she was better than everyone else. She was perfectly polished, every hair on her head perfectly in place. Rose just didn’t think this was the type of woman John would have chosen, though she’d been proved wrong about his choice in women ten years earlier when she’s been certain he would choose her.

“So, Rose is it? How long have you and John been together?” she asked, her eyes not looking up for her nails.

“Oh we’re not… I’m an old friend, came back to live on the ranch a few days ago,” Rose said nervously.

“I see, well, I love your dress. Did you make it yourself? The hem seems to be a little off.”

“No, it was a gift. I used to live in the city and my ex-husband bought it for me shortly after we were married.”

“Ex-husband, aren’t you a little young to be divorced? Did he grow tired of you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Wait a second, did you say you were an old friend of John’s? You’re that Rose? The Rose that proposed and ran off?” she asked with a cruel chuckle. “John mentioned you once when we were together. What a sad little story it was, a fifteen year old girl in love with a brilliant man like him? You must have felt so silly.”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Rose said, trying with everything in her to keep this visit civil, to keep this woman happy so John could finish this deal in peace.

"Oh no, I suppose you wouldn't want to. I know if it were me and the man I thought I loved turned me down, I’d avoid talking about it at all costs," Reinette said, and if it wasn’t for the sneer on the woman’s face Rose would have thought she was being sweet. 

“Actually, let’s talk about you for a moment. John told me about you on the way over. He told me how you were going to be married but left him for a man whose ranch was doing better, a man whose ranch is out of business and a man whose ranch John is buying. I’m pretty sure if anyone should feel silly, it’s you, Reinette.”

Reinette’s mouth fell open at Rose’s words. “Well I’ve never been so insulted in my life! If John wasn’t the only one interested in buying the land, I’d send you both away!” the woman said before rising and storming out of the room. 

\----

“So, I take it things didn’t turn out very well?” John asked as soon as they were in the car on the way back home.

“I tried to keep things civil, but that woman is terrible. I honestly don’t know how you put up with her for more than a minute,” Rose said, crossing her arms defensively.

“What did she say?” 

“I don’t really want to talk about it, John, and it doesn’t matter anyhow. How did the business deal go?” 

“Great, bought all his land for 50 cents and acre,” John said proudly.

“50 cents? John, I read in the paper not too long ago land was goin’ for 45 cents or less… not to mention Reinette said they had no other offers on the land. You could have probably gotten the land for 35 to 30 cents an acre.”

John glanced at her, clearly impressed with her knowledge. Rose had always been smart and he’d always admired that about her. “Really? Maybe I should have done a bit more research. I was willing to buy this man’s land no matter how much it cost.” 

“I would be happy to help you do research, if you want,”

“No, this is something I do alone,” he said.

“John, you can’t keep doing everything on your own and you sure as hell can’t keep having Donna pick up the things you miss. Let me help you, stop being so damn proud.”

John’s grip on the steering wheel tightened at her words. He was tired of people telling him he couldn’t handle things and he was tired of people telling him he needed help. “If I wanted you around to help me I would have married you ten years ago.”

Rose’s face fell and the pain of his words were evident on her face. “Right, you’re right, John, you would have. Thank God you didn’t because I’d have been stuck with your miserable ass forever,” she snapped right back at him, turning to look out her window, willing the tears that threated to fall to stay put.

\----

Rose wanted so badly to let the men find their own dinner, she wanted so badly to just bathe and crawl into bed, but she had her duties and Donna was sick, so as soon as she and John returned home she began making dinner.

Rose set aside two plates for her and Donna and set the rest of the food on the table for the men before she was finally able to make her way up to check on her friend. 

After a soft knock Rose entered Donna’s room carrying the tray with their food to find Donna sitting up in bed reading. “You’re feeling better, good,” she said setting the tray on the bed.

“How’d it go with John today?” she asked, going straight to the point. 

Rose sat down on the end of Donna’s bed with a sigh, the tray of food between them, “It was, it was terrible, Donna. I got in a fight with that horrible woman and I pushed him to accept my help. He said if he’d wanted my help he would have married me, and I know it’s silly… but that hurt a bit,” Rose said picking at the piece of chicken on her plate.

“He did what? Well that ass!” Donna said, her face turning a shocking shade of red. “I can’t believe he said that! You’d better believe I’ll be givin’ him a stern talking to.”

“Donna, he’s a thirty year old man, he’s entitled to his opinions and if he wants to insult me rather than take my help, so be it.”

“Never ever excuse him for being an ass, Rosie. I know things between the two of you are rough, but I know it will get better. He does care about you, I know he does, he’s just gotten too hard and bitter over the years, it’s going to take some time. However, that does not excuse his behavior, and he will be hearin’ from me.”

“Honestly, Donna, I think I can handle him myself.”

“Oh I’m certain you can, but that ain’t gonna stop me from dealing with him myself.”


	5. Chapter 5

CRACK!

“Ow! Donna! What the hell was that for?” John asked, holding his burning cheek in his hand. Only a few seconds earlier Donna had entered his office and before he was able to utter a word she’d hauled off and slapped him.

“Rosie told me about your day! She told me about your little comment. I don’t know what planet you’re living on but you don’t tell a girl that was once willing to marry you that if you wanted her help you would have! I don’t know what the hell if wrong with you but you need to get over it!” 

“Donna, I didn’t mean to say that, I just did! I got mad and she kept pushing me to accept her help and I pushed right back,” John said, moving around his desk to sit in his chair. “Having her here, Donna… it’s hard. I’m not saying I don’t want her here, but it’s getting harder to avoid her.”

“Then don’t avoid her. She’s not going to propose to you again so I don’t see why you’re worried,” Donna said taking her place in the chair in front of his desk.

John remained silent for a long moment before letting out a small sigh. “You’re right. There’s no reason we can’t be friends again… Well unless I’ve already messed all that up.”

“Unlike you, Rose has an easy time forgivin’ the people she cares about.”

“Let’s just talk about the day shall we? We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us with this new land,” John began, moving away from the subject of Rose as quickly as possible.

“Not until you promise me you’re gonna apologize to her tomorrow.”

John sighed and leaned back in his chair, silently studying Donna as if to see how serious she is. “Fine, Fine! I’ll talk to her tomorrow,” he said. “Now can we discuss the day?”

Donna gave him a look that said he’d better hold to his promise before nodding.

\----

As Rose and Donna set the table the next morning Rose was surprised John was already waiting for the meal. He hadn’t eaten a meal with everyone since Rose arrived. She’d been leaving him a plate in the kitchen during the meals for days, and the plate was always gone when she and Donna cleared the table after the meal.

Rose couldn’t seem to keep her eyes from drifting to John throughout the meal and she noticed he was having the same problem. She also noticed he had the same look on his face he always had when there was something on his mind he needed to share. She’d seen that look so many times over the years they’d been friends, like the time he’d gotten mud on the dress Pete had gotten her for her birthday. Or the time he’d been the one to break Wilf’s pocket watch but Rose had gotten blamed for it. He’d had that look his face until he’d finally gotten the chance to tell the man it was him and not Rose.

As soon as the meal was over Rose gathered the dishes and took them to the kitchen to be washed and start preparations for lunch. What she didn’t expect was that instead of Donna following right behind her, it was John.

“Rose, I’d like to have a word with you.”

“You want me to leave,” she said, and it wasn’t a question. 

“Of course not! I want to apologize for my… behavior yesterday. The things I said to you were unacceptable. I’ve come to ask for your forgiveness.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, John, you were right. If you wanted me help you would have married me.”

“No, I was wrong. I do want your help. You’re so smart, Rose, you’d be a wonderful asset to this ranch, just like your dad was.”

“Well, I appreciate it, John. And I forgive you for being an ass yesterday,” she said, shooting him a tongue touched grin.

John chuckled softly. “So, let’s agree to be civil towards each other? Maybe we can be friends again?”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted, John. I’ve missed you… I’ve always thought it was such a waste of a good friendship to have ended things the way I did. I’ve never forgiven myself for walking out all those years ago,” she said, turning to the sink full of dishes.

“Well, now’s the time to start, it wasn’t your fault,” he said softly. 

“Let’s just forget about it. Start fresh. I’ve got to get to work. I’ll see you later, Rose,” he said and then he was gone.

Rose let out a sigh as she realized she was now alone. She didn’t want to forget. She’d never regret offering herself to John. It had been a sincere gesture. She’d loved him with every ounce of her being. It wasn’t because she was an ignorant fifteen year old, it was because John had been the man she’d wanted to spend forever with. 

\----

That evening during supper John and Jack were back out in the pasture, looking for one of their cows, they’d noticed earlier that one of their younger calves had gone missing. They’d done a bit of searching after they’d finished rebuilding a large section of fencing, but hadn’t had too much time before they had to move on to the next thing. They’d been search for a few hours now, the sky getting darker every moment.

“John, I know you turned her down, I’ve heard Donna’s side of the story a dozen times, but I’ve never heard yours,” Jack asked as he rode beside John, making their way towards the woods at the back of the property. 

John let out a sigh, “When are you and Donna going to give up and leave it alone?” he asked.

“Probably never, now spill,” Jack said with his most charming smile.

“My parents had just died and it was painfully obvious I needed to start runnin’ things, and my dad always told me how important it was to have a woman by your side, and I knew that… I knew how much work my Mom did around the ranch. Rose and I had been growing closer right before they died, closer in a way that was a bit beyond friendship. I loved her, I always had… but she was too young, Jack. She was only fifteen and she was smart and she deserved more of a life than being stuck on a ranch having children and cooking, I wanted her to have more. When she told me… she told me she’d marry me, told me she loved me,” John said, taking a deep breath before continuing. 

“I told her I wasn’t interested in her that way, told her I’d never want to marry her. The next morning I woke to Donna shouting at me, telling me she’d left. Rose had packed her things and left with her father that night.”

“You didn’t think that maybe Rose wanted to spend her life here, on this ranch, with you? Don’t you think you should have let her make that decision? I haven’t spent a lot of time with her, but she came back and she’s happy.”

“I wasn’t the smartest man ten years ago, Jack.”

“Obviously you’re still not. Donna told me what you said to her, you’re not going to win her back that way.”

“I’m not trying to win her back! That ship sailed ten years ago. I stand by my decision.”

“I think you’re just being stubborn.”

John let out yet another sigh and ran a hand over his face. He’d always told himself he’d made the right decision in turning her down, but with her being back, it made it harder to see why he’d done that in the first place. He couldn’t help but think about how different things would be if he’d married her. He’d be happy, he’d probably had a few children, she would have never gotten in to a bad marriage and he would have never given Reinette a second glance. 

Just as John had been about to tell Jack his thoughts he say the calf they’d been looking for just up a head. “Jack,” he said and nodded to the still body of the calf. 

As the men dismounted their horses and inspected the calf they found it had been attacked by an animal, most likely a wolf. 

“There’s got to be a hole in the fence somewhere. We’ve got to find it before we have any more deaths. First, we’ve got to get dispose of this poor thing,” Jack said.

“Burn it then?”

Jack nodded.

John and Jack managed to get the calf to the burn pit and disposed of before it got too dark to move around. John agreed to take both his and Jack’s horses to the stable himself and take care of them. John had grown used to spending his evenings in the stables with the horses, though he’d been avoiding it since the night he’d had the run in with Rose. John knew that with the death of an animal he could really use some time in his place of comfort tonight, and if he was honest with himself he wouldn’t mind too much if Rose happened to be there as well.

It didn’t matter how many animals they lost, they all bothered John. He didn’t like anything to die, but it was something he would always deal with. He’d never forget the time one of their horses had gotten rabies. 

As he led both horses into the barn he wasn’t surprised at all the find Rose already there grooming her horse. He tied both horses to posts and began removing their saddles. “You know you can take her out for a ride sometime.” 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a horse, wasn’t sure I’d even remember,” she said, looking up from grooming. She took one look at his face and frowned. Even in the dim light in the barn and even after ten years she knew when something was bothering him. “Donna told me you and Jack had missed supper to go look for the calf. I take it you found it,” she said softly.

“Yeah… wolves, I think. We’ve got a hole in the fence somewhere, though even with the fence we still have those few weird incidences,” he said as he made his way toward her to grab a brush. 

“I’m sorry, John. I know how hard the deaths are on you. I’ll never forget that time when we were kids and your favorite cow died from calving problems,” she said, her eyes soft and sad as she watched him make his way back to the horses. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, Rose.”

“Good, you shouldn’t. It’s sad, it should always be sad.”

He looked up at her and smiled softly. They drifted into a companionable silence for a few minutes as they groomed. 

Once Rose was done grooming Applegrass she put the horse back into her stall and went to start grooming Jack’s horse as John still worked on his own. 

“You know, if it would make you feel more comfortable, we could go for a ride together. If you want to, that is,” he said, watching her closely. 

“I’d like that,” she said, a wide grin spreading across her face. “I’ve missed our long horse rides. Remember that time we went out, both on your horse? It wasn’t long before, well before your parents passed. We packed a lunch and made our way into the woods. We were gone so long my dad sent Donna and Wilf to come lookin’ for us.”

John grinned back, “I do remember. It was a good day,” he said. 

What he didn’t say was it was the day he’d realized how much he’d loved her as more than a friend. She’d looked beautiful that day. It had been one of the first few days of winter, only a thin layer of snow on the ground. She’s been bundled up but her cheeks and nose were a lovely shade of pink due to the chill in the air, and her hair had been left down. She’d been beautiful, absolutely stunning in the snow. 

He’d used the cold as an excuse to sit near her, to share the think blanket he’d brought to cover up with. They’d spent the whole afternoon huddled together under that blanket, simply enjoying the time away from the ranch, just being together. 

“So, how about tomorrow?” Rose asked, breaking John out of his flashback.

“Tomorrow sounds great.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Are you ready for your first date, Rosie? Don’t let his hands go wandering, be sure if he kisses you at the end, it’s on the cheek. We don’t want people thinkin’ you’re some hussy,” Donna teased from her spot on the edge of Rose’s bed.

“Donna, this is just a horse ride, not a walk down the aisle. Which, before you say anything, is never goin’ to happen,” Rose said as she smoothed her hands down her soft pink blouse before pulling the straps of her comfortable overalls over her shoulders and buckling them.

Donna pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her nose. “You sound too sure of that, Rosie. What if John gets down on one knee this afternoon and proposes to you?” she asked before she was forced to let out the cough she’d been holding in.

Rose remained silent a few moments before letting out a soft sigh, “I would tell him no. He’s not interested, he never was. I didn’t expect anything moving back here. I didn’t expect him to see me any differently than he did all those years ago. Just because we’re becoming friends again doesn’t mean I’m going to start thinkin’ any different about his feelings toward me.”

“Both of you are so damn foolish! I swear you’re both gonna die old and alone at this rate.”

“I don’t think I want to get married again, Donna. I’ve done that and it didn’t work out. I’m content bein’ single the rest of my life.”

“Rose, women have needs… You’ll be regrettin’ that decision in no time,” Donna teased again.

The shade of red Rose’s cheeks turned made the other woman chuckle. “I’ll leave you with that thought, Rosie. Have a wonderful time on your date this afternoon.”

Rose sighed and watched as her friend left the room. As she finished getting ready for her ride with John Rose couldn’t help but let her thoughts drift to the thought of marrying John. It was a thought she’d once considered a future, a thought she hadn’t had in years, a thought she didn’t like having. It had only brought her pain in the past. Pushing it to the back of her mind, Rose finished pulling her soft leather boots on.

“It is not a date.”

\----

John and Rose stood only a few feet apart as they readied their horses, John packing the small lunch he’d had Donna prepare for them into his saddle bag. The awkward silence sat between them so thick it was quickly becoming uncomfortable. They’d been fine last night. The conversation had flowed easily, but somehow this felt like their interactions when she’d first arrived.

“John, this is silly. We’ve been friends over half our lives. We can do this and it not be, well, awkward,” Rose said, giving the saddle one last look over.

He chuckled and grinned at her ruefully. “It really is, isn’t it?”

Rose easily swung her leg over and sat atop her horse for the first time in too long. She couldn’t but feel right at home. She’d missed this, missed this life so much. “I don’t know why I was so anxious, this is just as easy as it was ten years ago,” Rose said as she made her way out into the pasture, looking over her shoulder to see John following shortly behind her. She’d always admired the way he looked on a horse, well, she’d always just admired the way he looked down anything.

“I knew you’d be fine. You were always great with horses. You know, for a girl,” he said, but Rose could tell by the look on his face he was teasing.

“Oh you think you’re so funny,” she said, shaking her head. “We’ll see how funny you are when I beat you to the woods,” she said and then took off at a gallop.

“Still up to your old tricks!” he yelled after her, before urging his horse to pick up speed.

John eventually caught up after Rose had slowed to a slow walking speed as she neared the woods. This part of the woods wasn’t too far from the house. Rose and John had spent many hours out in these woods as kids, climbing trees and when they were older they’d take horseback rides as often as they could.

“It’s going to be hard winter,” John said as they moved through the woods side by side. “It’s already gettin’ cold. This may be hardest winter we’ve ever had.”

“It is a bit chilly today, and it’s so early in the season. You should probably get goin’ on getting things ready.”

“I’ll talk to Jack this evening, we’ll get started on it tomorrow.”

“I like Jack, he’s a hard worker… he may be a bit too friendly, but he’s great,” Rose said, guiding her horse around a fallen tree.

“Yes, he is a bit too friendly. He hasn’t been too friendly with you has he? I can talk to him, let him know you aren’t interested,” John said, realizing he’d sounded a bit too eager to put Jack in his place.

Rose gave John an amused look and chuckled softly, “He’s not too friendly with me, John, not in a serious way. He’s just a bit playful. Besides, I think he’s a bit sweet on Donna.”

“What? No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh trust me, he’s quite interested.”

John gave Rose a look somewhere between shock and amusement. He could believe the man he’s come to think of as his greatest friend would be interested in the woman he’d grown up with and thought of as a sister.

“Well, good for them.”

“Now don’t going tellin’ anyone I told you that, especially Donna. I don’t think she knows.”

“I promise, Rose, I won’t say a word,” he said, placing a hand over his heart.

“You’re a terrible liar. So tell me, you fibber, are you ready for lunch?”

“I was thinkin’ we could have lunch underneath the big oak we always used to climb. Remember?”

Rose smiled brightly, “Of course I remember. How could I ever forget? We ate plenty of lunches underneath that tree.”

\----

The picnic blanket John had packed with their lunch was instead wrapped around Rose’s shoulders, shielding her from the chilly weather. They sat side by side under the large oak tree, eating the sandwiches Donna had put together for them.

“Thanks for taking me out today,” Rose said, smiling over at John. “Not that I… I don’t think this is a date, or a version of one at all! I just mean, it’s nice, spending time with you. I haven’t been out with a friend in years. Jimmy didn’t much care to take me anywhere and he wasn’t too keen on lettin’ me go out either.”

“Tell me about Jimmy. I want to know what happened.”

“He was a drunk, John, there’s not much more to it. I wasn’t happy, I don’t know that I ever was. I knew before we married he had a problem, his family had a lot of problems. His parents’ marriage wasn’t a healthy one. I didn’t have a choice though. I was seventeen when my dad died. Seventeen year old girls don’t do to well on their own. It seemed like after we got married he got better, but I think marriage was too much for him. He saw his parents’ failed marriage in every fight and every argument. He saw divorce in every slammed door and night he spent sleeping on the couch and eventually, he turned to the bottle,” Rose said, and as she spoke she wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, mostly looking at the sandwich in her hands.

“We were married for a long time but around a year ago things got a bit too rough and I left. He’d never really been abusive until he was, but I got out of there as fast as I could. He gave me the divorce I wanted, but he’s never really let me get too far away from him. So when he went into my last job lookin’ for me, I knew I needed somewhere to go, somewhere he wouldn’t follow me.”

“I’m sorry, Rose, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I can’t help but think if I’d read your letters, if we’d been there for you after Pete died, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself into that mess,” John said looking over at her, his arm going around her shoulders without a second thought.

“You can’t blame yourself. Besides, I was already seein’ Jimmy when Dad died. I probably would’ve married him anyway. Thank you though, for lettin’ me stay here.”

“I never wanted you to leave, I’m glad you’re here,” John said honestly.

“I’m glad I’m here too,” Rose said before finishing her sandwich. “Now, do you think I can still climb this tree? I reckon I can,” she said removing the blanket from around her shoulders and pulling herself up on the first branch.

“Don’t get stuck up there, I’m not coming to get you.”

“That’s what you said when I was nine. You were up the tree after me before I even finished telling you I was stuck,” she said flashing him a smug grin before continuing the climb higher.

\----

“They’ve been gone a long time,” Jack said as he joined Donna in the sitting room where they meet every day.

“Best part about it is, we didn’t have to do a thing to get them out there,” Donna said from her chair.

“That is really impressive. I’d say they’re movin’ right along. Next thing you know, we’ll be standing at the altar,” Jack said and then sat down in front of her in his chair, “I mean, not that we’d be gettin’ married! Obviously I meant as their friends, you know, standin’ beside them as they get hitched. Not us,” Jack said, his voice clearly flustered.

“I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you so flustered. You sure you didn’t mean the two of us? I know I’ve got such a tempting body,” she said before coughing into her handkerchief.

“Why not? Let’s get hitched right now, I don’t know if I can keep my hands to myself for a minute longer!” he said in his best southern belle impression. Jack paused for a moment as he sat down across from her. “Are you feeling alright?” he asked.

It was clear to Jack that something wasn’t quite right with Donna. Her eyes were red and swollen.

“Actually, I’m not feeling too well. I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather since yesterday, but I’m sure it’s just a cold,” she said with a sniffle.

“Maybe we should get you into bed.”

“Always so eager to get me in your bed, you should be ashamed Jack Harkness,” Donna teased, though weakly. “Goin’ to bed might be smart. I’m just not sure I can get there, I’m feeling pretty weak.”

Jack stood and moved to stand in front of Donna, his hand pressing against her forehead. “Donna, you’re burning up! Let’s get you to bed and I’ll call Dr. Whitman,” he said, helping her stand, carrying most of her weight as he put her arm around his shoulder.

“Jack, I think I might really be sick.”

\----

As Rose and John rode back up to the ranch the first thing they noticed was Dr. Whitman’s car in the drive, the next was Jack running out to meet them.

John and Rose both dismounted their horses as fast as they could.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Is it Wilf?” John asked, panic easily settling on him.

“No it’s Donna, she’s really sick, John. It’s not lookin’ good.”


	7. Chapter 7

Rose wasn’t sure how long she’d been waiting in the sitting room when John finally came back from seeing Donna. The Doctor had told them that the only people allowed to see her were those that had already had measles, and Rose had never had them. Rose was doing her best to hold herself together, there was no need in getting herself wound up, not when she didn’t have all the facts, not when she knew what this was going to do to everyone else on the ranch. Rose needed to be the strong one. She _would_ be the strong one.

When John entered the room, Rose immediately stood and crossed the room to where he was hesitating in the doorway, throwing her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly. “How is she? She’s going to be okay, right?” she asked, letting go of him and stepping back.

“The Doc said there are possibilities for several complications when you get measles as an adult,” he said softly. “She’s still going to get worse before she gets better, it’s early,” he finished, not looking up from his shoes.

“She’ll be fine, you know Donna… If anyone can beat this, it’s her, she’s the toughest person I know,” Rose said, reaching out and taking his hand.

John looked up then, all emotions leaving his face, “I’m going to need you to fill in while she’s sick,” he said, removing his hand from hers.

“Don’t do that, don’t shut down, John. She’s going to be fine! If you shut me out I won’t be able to help you! I won’t help you. We’ve had a lovely day together, you don’t get to shut me out because you’re afraid,” Rose said, feeling a bit like she was scolding a child, but she wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.

John fought back the initial thoughts that came to mind, held in the words that would drive her away from him, and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I know… I’m sorry. She’s like my sister, I don’t know what I’m goin’ to do if,” he said softly.

“No need in worryin’ about that _if_ , John, she’s goin’ to be just fine,” Rose said taking his hand again, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Now, I’ll be more than happy to take over Donna’s work while she’s sick, no need in worryin’ about that either.”

“Thank you, Rosie. Meet me in my office this evening and we’ll go over everything. I’ve got to take care of some things for Donna,” he said, giving her hand a brief squeeze before turning and leaving the room.

\----

“Jack, I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m going to be fine,” Donna huffed from her place in bed. “Or you can get someone else to do it. John’s already havin’ to do without me, he’s goin’ to need you.”

“He’s got Rosie, and I won’t take time off work, I’ll just take care of you when I ain’t workin’,” he said as he pressed a cool rag to her forehead. “You’re fever is pretty bad Donna, the Doc says it might even get worse. Someone’s got to keep an eye on you.”

“Well, I don’t wanna cause you any trouble. Last thing you need on your plate is some sick and pathetic woman.”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh, “Donna, you may be sick, but I don’t think you could ever be pathetic. Besides, if I take care of you, I’ll get to give you sponge baths… could even help you with the regular ones too,” he said with a charming grin.

“I knew there was an angle, always is with men like you,” she teased weakly. “Always tryin’ to get me naked, you should be ashamed. I might die and the last words you say to me will probably be somethin’ about me gettin’ naked.”

Jack looked at Donna for a moment, his face suddenly serious, his eyes full of an emotion that was so very unfamiliar to both of them, before he schooled his featured back into a wolfish grin. “If you’d just let me get you naked I’m sure my final words to you will be something else, maybe. Besides, you won’t be dying anytime soon.”

“Well, you are now in charge of taking care of Rose and John. I don’t want them fallin’ apart again, you’d best keep an eye on them.”

“You got it, Donna, I promise to make sure they keep movin’ in the right direction.”

\----

Rose had her first experience of life without Donna that evening when she gathered the eggs for the next day and prepared dinner all by herself. It wasn’t that the work was impossible, Donna had been doing it alone for years, it was that Rose missed the companionship, she missed her friend. If this was how sad it was after only a few hours Rose wasn’t sure how she was going to make it until Donna was well enough to come back to work.

Rose worked quickly to finish dinner and get it out on the tables before the men came in for the day. She wasn’t surprised in the least to find Wilf absent from the table, knowing he was probably spending the evening with Donna. She was however surprised to find John absent. Rose knew John and she knew he certainly wasn’t visiting Donna, he didn’t do that. When he was in danger of losing someone John’s walls went up, he avoided them.

When John’s parents were ill John avoided them completely. He spent as much time away from the ranch, whether it was spending time with Rose or working, it didn’t matter as long as he was far away from the death that was surely going to take his parents. She remembers the guilt that it caused when they’d finally passed, the look of shame on his face as they put them both in the ground. That wouldn’t stop him from doing it again. He saw it as protecting himself from another death. 

Rose took her seat next to Mickey and ate in silence, no one uttering a word. It was clear that the woman’s absence was affecting everyone. Donna was such a vital part of the success of this ranch and everyone knew it, and everyone loved her. It was going to be a hard time without her, but Rose was optimistic that Donna would make it through.

\----

After Rose cleaned up the dishes and made preparation for the morning’s breakfast she made John a plate of food and made her way to his office for their now nightly meetings. She silently prayed that the man wouldn’t shut her out, that he would remember how she’d been there for him when his parents were ill and know she’d gladly do the same this time.

She gave a soft knock to his open door before entering, “Sorry, I’m a little late I think. I brought you dinner,” she said, placing the plate in front of him and sitting down in the chair in front of his desk.

John offered Rose a soft smile, “Thank you, now, let’s get down to business,” he said before taking a bite of food. 

“Right, you’re going to try to finish up winter prep in the next few days?” she asked, remembering their conversation from that morning.

“Mhm, that’s the plan. We’ve got to make sure the winter pen is secure and finish moving the hay in there. Then of course we need to move the cattle in. I think we should be able to finish in two or three days, depending on how much of the pen we’ve got to fix. We haven’t had a winter come this early since I was a boy, it’s getting colder every day. Anyway, how did you manage this evening without Donna?” he asked.

“It was fine. It’s not impossible, I mostly just missed her company,” Rose said, her hands playing with the hem of her light pink apron she’d forgotten to remove. 

“I understand that,” he said softly. “I’m going to miss meeting with her every evening, not that I’m not happy to meet with you. I know you’re more than capable of doing the extra work.”

“Thanks, John, but you know you could always go see her. I’m sure she’d be glad to see you.”

“No. No, I can’t.”

“Don’t do to Donna what you did to your parents. Do you remember the guilt? You were devastated you weren’t there. God forbid something actually happen to her and once again you’ve run away from things,” Rose said, her face full of concern. “I just don’t want you to hurt like you did when your parents passed. I hated seeing you that way. You looked completely defeated, like the weight of the world was completely on your shoulders and you were totally alone. I don’t want that to happen again.”

John fought back the initial reaction to her words, fought back the urge so snap at her for bringing up his parents, for talking to him like a child. He knew she meant well, he knew she was trying to help. She’d been there for him all those years ago and he’d pushed her away the first chance he’d gotten. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again, not when their friendship was growing again. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, “You’re right, Rose, I should see her. I’m afraid I’m going to lose someone again, I don’t think I can take it. I lost my parents and then I lost you… I can’t lose Donna too.”

Rose leaned forward and took his hand in hers, “I didn’t stay lost and Donna’s going to get through this. You’ll see, everyone’s going to be fine.”

John smiled at Rose and held her hand tightly, “I’m so glad you came home, Rose.”

“I never felt at home anywhere else, I’m glad to be home too.”

\----

The next evening while everyone else was enjoying dinner, John was pacing outside Donna’s room working up his courage to finally enter. Just as he was about to knock for the fifth time he heard her voice from the other side of the door. It was weak and not nearly as loud as she normally was, but it was her.

“John! If you don’t quit pacing in front of my door and knock, I’m going to get out of this bed and smack you again!”

John wasted no time in opening the door and entering her room. “Donna, how are you feeling?” he asked.

“Better now that you’ve decided I’m not going to die,” she said, clearly angry he hadn’t taken the time to see her. “I know you, if you thought I was dying you wouldn’t step foot in this hallway,” she said before a coughing fit hit her. 

“No, I just… Rose told me I was being dumb.”

“And you listened? What a nice change. Knew she’d be good for you, just like she always was. You ask her to marry you yet?”

“Donna, you’ve only been sick for two days.”  
“So? You have been in love with her for half your life, it shouldn’t take too long.”

“I,” he began before began struggling to find the right words. “Things are running smoothly, but it’s only been two days. You better hurry up this bein’ sick business so you can get back to work. Rose misses you, and so do I.”

Donna smiled over at John, “I’m sure you and Rose are fully capable of keepin’ each other company.”

“I’m trying to have a civil visit so I think you’d better quit all this talk about me and Rose.”

“Alright, I’m not sorry but I’ll knock it off. I’m glad she convinced you to come visit me. Please tell her I love her, you can give her a hug for me if you want to,” Donna said, a sly grin on her face.

“Donna!”

“Okay, I’m done now, I promise. Tell me what’s happening around the ranch.”

“We’re hurryin’ to finish up the winter preparations. It’s going to snow soon, I know it.”

\----

A week and a half later TARDIS Ranch got its first snow fall of the winter. They’d managed to finish all the preparations only a few days prior to the snow, but it was all done.

The ranch looked beautiful. The pasture was covered a few inches of snow. The tree tops of the woods visible from the house were a beautiful sight. Every fireplace inside the house was lit and Rose and John often enjoyed a nice cup of cocoa together in the evenings.

With the first snow fall also came Donna’s health worsening. The Doctor had told them she was going to get worse before she got better but none of them were really prepared to how bad she would get.

Donna’s fever would get so high she would see things that weren’t there, there was a red rash covering every inch of her body, and worst of all her fiery spirit was replaced with exhaustion and sadness.


	8. Chapter 8

Three weeks have passed since the first snow fall. There’s a permanent thin blanket of snow covering every inch of the ranch, but it’s manageable; the work still continues. 

John and Rose have fallen into a routine of spending most of their spare time together, relying on each other for comfort as Donna’s health worsened. The first two and a half weeks after the snow fall were hard; Donna just seemed to get sicker every day. Finally, one day she just seemed to get better. It was as if the virus had its fun and left. She was still weak, of course, and wouldn’t be ready to return to work for a while, but she was going to make it. Donna was going to live. 

As John and Rose continued to spend more and more time together, the happier circumstances allowed them to enjoy every moment. It was clear to everyone on the ranch how close they were becoming, but for them it was something natural. It didn’t need to be thought about as far as they were concerned; they’d always been close before, so the growth of their relationship was something neither of them really thought about. 

\----

It was another normal evening as Rose entered John’s office, the fireplace making the room glow in comforting warmth. Rose handed John a mug of hot cocoa before curling up in her usual chair with her own mug. They had gotten in the routine of having at least one cup of hot cocoa together each day, whether it was while watching the snow fall from the back porch or in the evenings as they warmed up in front of the fireplace in his office.

“So, anything new I need to know?” she asked.

“Same old stuff. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said before taking a sip of his cocoa, a small smile on his face. He’d never tell a soul, but Rose’s hot cocoa was far better. It was less sweet and a bit creamier than Donna’s. 

“Oh? I’m not in trouble am I?” she asked with a tongue touched smile.

“No. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate all the work you’ve done while Donna’s been sick. I know it’s been difficult and it’s been a bit of extra work with all the snow, but you’ve done an excellent job, Rose. I just wanted to let you know how much I… all of us here value your hard work. Thank you,” he said, a sincere smile on his face.

Rose looked down at her cup of cocoa in an attempt to hide her blush. “Thank you, John, I’m glad I could fill in while Donna has been sick.”

“I’m so glad she’s going to be okay. I can’t thank you enough for makin’ me go visit her.”

“I didn’t make you, John, I just let you know how dumb you were bein’,” she said with a soft chuckle and a teasing glint in her eyes.

“Rose, how long are you planning on staying here?” John asked, a sudden serious look on his face.

“Forever if you let me, this ranch is my home, John. You and Donna and everyone here are my family. I don’t have anywhere else I’d rather be,” she said, her voice as serious as the look on his face.

“Yeah? That’s great,” he said with a wide grin. “Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow?”

\----

As they sat side by side on the old wooden picnic table that sits on the back porch, John couldn’t help but stare at Rose. It reminded him of the first time he realized he loved her. Here she was ten years later, bundled up to keep warm, her cheeks and nose a lovely shade of pink. She was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Rose noticed him staring and arched an eyebrow. “Is there something on my face?” she asked.

John cleared his throat as he cleared those thoughts from his mind. “No, your nose… it always turns this nice shade of pink when you’re cold.”

Blushing, Rose turned her head away and pulled her hat further down on to her head. 

“I was just thinking about the last winter we spent together. Remember? We made snow angels and made a very nice lookin’ snowman,” Rose said with small grin, turning to look back at him.

John couldn’t help but smile when he realized they’d both been thinking about the same winter, though different moments. “I do remember, I also remember you havin’ to talk me into that. We were so cold and soaking by the time we were done that we had to change clothes and sit in front of the fireplace in the sitting room for an hour! Your nose was pink that day too.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Is this a new obsession you have with my nose or have you just been hiding it all these years?” she teased, bumping her shoulder into his.

“Oh I’ve definitely always loved your nose,” he teased right back, poking at her nose with his index finger.

“John! Stop!” she said, swatting at his hand.

“But, Rose, your nose is so adorable,” he said, moving to poke it again, but before he could Rose was off the bench and running out into the snow.

Without thought, John followed after her, the snow falling gently around them.

Rose bent down and made a snowball, throwing it at him before he could reach her, her laughter loud as she watched him sputter. 

“Rose Tyler! You’re going to get it!” he said, running at her as fast as he could.

\----

“You know, I have the perfect view of the backyard from my window? I don’t even have to get up. Saw something very interesting out there this afternoon,” Donna said as John entered her room that evening after dinner.

“And what was that, Donna? Two friends having a bit of fun?” John asked, moving to sit in the chair by the window Donna was just talking about. It was now snowing hard outside making it nearly impossible to see the backyard.

“No, I saw two people falling in love,” she said.

“Donna, that’s not… We were just… we are friends, nothin’ more,” John said, running a hand through his hair.

“We’ll see about that. I’ve heard about how much time the two of you have been spending together and I don’t know about you, but I don’t think friends look that cozy playing in the snow together.”

“So I take it Jack’s been keeping you informed? You know he was my friend first, I need to talk to him about loyalty,” he joked, a small smile on his face.

“He likes me better, I’m prettier,” Donna said with a wink, “Now you better go before you’re late for your meeting with Rose!” Donna said, Rose’s name coming out in a teasing manner.

John stood and pressed a kiss to Donna’s forehead.

“Quit spying, it’s not good for your health,” he teased before leaving her to make his way to his office.

As John waited for Rose, he pondered Donna’s words. He’d loved Rose years ago but those were feelings and thoughts he’d locked away knowing nothing would ever come of them not when he’s pushed her away like he had.

There was a quiet knock at his door and he looked up only to find Jack Harkness standing there instead of Rose.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Where’s Rose?” John asked, rising from his chair.

“She’s fine. She wanted me to tell you she’s out with Wilf in the barn. One of the horses is sick and he needed an extra pair of hands,” Jack said, stepping just inside the door.

John’s face fell, worry etched on his features, “What? You mean to tell me she’s out there in the mess of a snow storm?” he asked, anger taking the place of worry.

“It’s not that bad, she’ll be fine. She’s with Wilf and I’m sure they will be in at any moment. Now I’m goin’ to go check on Donna. No need in worryin’ John, Rosie will be just fine,” he said and was gone.

“I don’t care if it’s not that bad! She could get hurt!” John yelled after Jack, his fist slamming into the hard wood of his desk.

John didn’t like the idea of Rose stuck out in the barn in this weather. What if the snow picked up even more and they got trapped? She’d surely freeze to death. What if the wind started blowing so hard the barn collapsed? What if he lost her? She was too big of an asset to the ranch. She was too good a friend. He loved her too much. 

That thought nearly caused him to jump out of his chair. He loved her. He loved her so much that the thought of losing her was driving him mad. He loved her so much that it took everything in him to not tear out of the house and find her. 

He thought back to the moment earlier that day when they’d been sitting outside, how lovely she’d looked bundled up with her pink cheeks and her pinker nose. It had been staring him in the face since she’d returned. Those feelings he’d pushed aside all those years ago were brought back to life from her mere presence in his home, by her tongue touched smile, by her ability to make him a better man.

He hurried out of his office and stormed down the hallway to Donna’s room, slamming her door open with too much force. “I love her,” was all he could think to say. “I love her.”

“Well it’s about damn time you realized it,” Donna said before smiling over at Jack.

“No… I’ve always loved her but I… I want to _be_ with her. I want to _love_ her,” he said breathlessly. “What do I do?”

“You could always tell her? But John…”

“Yeah… that’s a good idea,” he said, not giving Donna time to finish before he began making his way back down the hall to his office only to find Rose there waiting for him.

She was standing in front of the fire and looked up when she heard him enter the room. The bottom of her dress was soaked, her hair had fallen messily out of her bun, and her nose and cheeks where the shade of pink he loved so much. 

“Dammit, Rose! Don’t go out in snow like this ever again!” John said, taking steps toward her, his anger flaring back up again.

“Excuse me? What’s wrong? Wilf needed my help,” she said, turning to face him completely.

“No! You could have gotten hurt! Something could have happened and I could have lost you again! You are not allowed to leave this house if it’s snowing!”

“Have you completely lost your mind? I have work to do around here, work you were praising me for just last night and now you want me to stop? I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but I can take care of myself.”

“I want to take care of you,” he said, closing the distance and crashing his lip against hers before she even had time to register he’d moved. 

Her mouth was warm against his and her full lips were soft just as he knew they would be. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as close as he possibly could. It wasn’t until he felt her small hands against his chest that he realized she wasn’t responding, that she was pushing him away. 

John pulled back as though he’d been burned. “Rose, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this with you, John. I’m so sorry,” she choked out and ran for the door, not bothering to look behind her as she took off down the hall.

\----

Once Rose was safely behind her closed bedroom door, she took the time to process what had just happened. John had kissed her. _John had kissed her._ What the hell had he been thinking? What did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? More importantly, why had she run away?

She knew why of course. She swore to herself when she came back that she’d avoid falling in love with John again. She wouldn’t let him hurt her again. She’d been a wreck for years after John rejected her and then Jimmy came along and she’d failed at that marriage. Marriage and love weren’t for her or at least that’s what she’d been telling herself.

Then she’d grown closer to John. Every smile and every evening spent together made her realize that her feelings for him had never left, but that didn’t mean she had to act on them - she didn’t want to be that stupid ever again. He hadn’t wanted her ten years ago. He couldn’t want her now.

But then he’d kissed her and she’d been so close to throwing everything out the window and kissing him back. She’d always been right where she’d been all those years ago, rejected and alone.

No, she wasn’t risking her heart again. She wasn’t sure why John had kissed her, but whatever the reason, it wasn’t happening again.


	9. Chapter 9

John hadn’t seen Rose since she’d run off, since he’d kissed her. It had only been two days, but those two days felt much longer. As much as he wanted to understand why she ran away, he wasn’t in the mood to ask the one person that would know. Whether it was because he knew it was most likely his fault or maybe because it wasn’t, he didn’t want to ask Donna. Instead, as soon as the work was done he took off on his horse and began making his way through the thick snow towards the woods, quickly deciding he was completely justified in his sulking.

He’d finally given in to his feelings and he’d given Rose something she’d wanted ten years ago; his heart. Why then, did she not want it? Maybe she was still bitter about him rejecting her all those years ago? No, that’s not like Rose - She’s got to have a good reason. Maybe she doesn’t love him anymore? He couldn’t blame her if that was the case. She’d been through so much because of him and it was ridiculous to think that after ten years she’d still feel the same.

Not knowing what was eating him up. He needed to know why and he needed to know if there was anything he could do to fix this. If he couldn’t love her, he still wanted their friendship back. He’d have to talk to Donna: there was no other option.

Sighing heavily, he quickly turned his horse around and headed back towards the ranch.

\---

“I tried to tell you! I tried to tell you to take is slow, to be gentle about it but you cut me off! Now look what’s happened! I swear you are so damn stupid. Did you honestly think you haulin’ off and kissin’ her was going to work?” Donna asked, pacing around her room, finally feeling well enough to move around a bit. Doctor Whitman had come by that morning to tell Donna that the virus had run its course and she was in the clear.

“Well… yes? It’s not like I meant for it to happen that way - it was an accident.”

“Oh? So you tripped and your lips feel into hers passionately?” Donna asked, smacking the back of his head as she passed behind him. “This ain’t a damn romance novel John and you sure as hell aren’t a Prince Charming.”

John didn’t let her smack phase him. “Donna, I just want to know what I’m supposed to do now. Do I forget about her? She’s been successfully avoiding me these last two days. I haven’t even seen her and I’ve tried! She’s always out of the house riding her horse or God knows where. I don’t understand why she’s avoiding me.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say it has something to do with the fact you rejected her ten years ago. Maybe the fact you kissing her probably confused the hell out of her,” Donna said with an eye roll. “Listen to me John, that girl loved you her whole life. She adored you and she was willing to spend the rest of her life here on this ranch with you and you rejected her. She’s been tellin’ herself since she came back that things between the two of you were going to be nothin’ but friendly. She’s convinced you could never love her. Can you blame her? You’re goin’ to have to do something big to prove you’re serious. You want her right?”

“Of course I do! I always have.”

“Then you’re going to have to prove that to her.”

“Right. I can do that. Right?”

Donna smiled softly at him, “Yeah, I think you can.”

\----

Now that Donna was on the mend, it wasn’t long after John left that Rose was running into the redhead’s room and straight into her arms. “Oh Donna! I’ve missed you. Wilf told me this morning it was safe for me to visit.”

Donna laughed softly and hugged her friend back, “Oh I’ve missed you too Rosie. I hope you didn’t have too much trouble managing without me.”

“No, it was fine. It was great, John was…” Rose began but stopped herself.

“He was great right? Things were going really well?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why did you run away from him?”

“You don’t waste any time do you? You just got better and I’ve been here for ten seconds and you want to talk about John?” Rose asked, taking a seat on the end of Donna’s bed.

“Yes actually. Now answer the question.”

“He kissed me Donna. First he was yelling at me and then the next thing I know he’s got his arms around me and I can’t yell back at him because he’s kissin’ me. Why would he do that?”

“You could always ask him,” Donna asked, sitting down next to her.

“No, no. I can’t do that. I’m not sure I want to know. I’m sure it was a mistake.”

Donna knew then she had a choice. She could tell Rose the truth - she could tell her what John had been in here telling her only minutes before, or she could let the two of them figure it out for themselves. “Rose, the only way you’re going to know is if you talk to him. Listen to him.”

“Donna, even if he is interested, I don’t know if I would want to risk it again.”

“Risk what?”

“My heart. It took me such a long time to get over him, for the hurt he caused to fade into something manageable. This is what happened ten years ago. Our relationship on the one line of being something more and the second I stepped over it he pushed me away. He may have kissed me but that doesn’t mean he won’t push again,” Rose said, running a hand through her loose blonde locks.

“I only have one bit of advice left for you, Rosie. Sometimes you can’t control what your heart does and if you find John’s already got it, don’t take it back and don’t resist him. You may find that this time things might end a bit differently.”

Rose let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and nodded slowly.

As the days passed, Rose found it harder and harder to avoid John and she discovered more often than not that she didn’t want to. She missed the friendship that had been building between them, but she was afraid that if she let it continue she wouldn’t be able to resist trying to move it forward again, not after that kiss. She couldn’t let that happen as long as there was a doubt in her mind.

He always seemed to find her now, whether she was in the barn brushing Applegrass down after a ride or cleaning out the stalls. Those moments were mostly silent, though she didn’t miss the longing glances coming when he thought she wasn’t looking. It was almost like he was waiting for something — she just couldn’t figure out what.

\----

She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and it seemed she only got more beautiful every time he saw her, whether it was watching her walk around in the falling snow or covered in dust and hay as she cleaned out the barn. His heart soared every time his eyes fell on her golden hair, her full lips or her whiskey colored eyes. He loved her and he was more sure of that than he’d ever been. He just wasn’t sure how to convince her of it.

He thought that if he spent more time with her, she’d get the idea that he was serious and wasn’t giving up, even if she wasn’t much for talking these days. But after a few days spent helping her clean the stalls of the barn, he realized it wasn’t quite doing the trick.

John finally grew tired of his idea to wait for her to come around and eventually went to Jack for help.

“So you thought waiting would work? Women don’t want time - they want to be wooed,” Jack said, sitting across from John, as they shared a drink in the kitchen late one night.

“Wooed? She wants me to woo her?”

“Of course! She wants romantic gestures; she wants to know you’re capable of doing nice things. You’re kind of an asshole and it would be nice to show her you’re not an asshole all the time.”

John chuckled and finished off his drink. “How do I go about wooing her? She never showed interest in romantic things before. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Cook her dinner. Give her wine and chocolates. it’s not difficult - They’re women, they like to be spoiled and treated nice.”

“Yeah, it’s just getting her to agree to have dinner with me that’s going to be the problem.”

“Yes well, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

\----

John started his attempts at wooing the next day. That afternoon, he brought her some hot cocoa he’s made himself and found that her sitting at the picnic table where they had been sitting together nearly every day before he kissed her. She looked beautiful as she watched the snow fall gently over the fields that he almost didn’t want to disturb her, but she sensed his presence and looked over at him and the cups he held in his hands. The color in her cheeks deepened and he hopes that is was in response to him and not the cold chill of the wind.

“Rose, I just wanted to apologize for… kissing you the other day. I was out of line and wrapped up in worry and I shouldn’t have done it.”

“No, it’s okay… I should have known it wasn’t, that it didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry for running away.”

“No Rose, it did mean something. I’m not sorry we kissed. I’m sorry that’s how it happened.”

Rose’s eyes widened in shock and she had to remind herself to breathe. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing: It was as if the dreams of her younger self were coming true. “Oh… that’s…oh,” she said, her cheeks warming as she blushed furiously.

“I just want you to know that I would love to do things the right way, if you’d let me. I know romantically things between us have always ended rather terribly, but I was young and foolish and I pushed you away when I should have pulled you closer. Rose, I would like to show you how much I care about you. I’d like to make you dinner, take you on picnics. I’d like to take you to town. I want to do things the right way. Would you… Do you want that too?”

Rose looked down at the cup of hot cocoa in her hands and began to think. This was the turning point. If she said no, she’d be giving up the one thing she’d always wanted but she’d also be protecting her heart that had never been handled with care. If she said yes, she had a chance at a life with John but she also left room for heartbreak.

“John, I… What happens if you realize I’m not what you want?”

John grinned and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Not possible, you’ve always been what I’ve wanted. If you want, take time to think about it. I’m not pushing you for an answer and I’m not going anywhere, just promise me you’ll think about it?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

\----

Two days later, a massive blizzard hit and no one was able to safely leave the house. John and the rest of the household could only hope the cattle would make it through the storm.

Several hours after the blizzard started, John was working on the last bit of paperwork of the day, when there was a soft knock at his door.

“Okay,” she said from the doorway.

“Okay?” he asked moving around his desk to perch on the front of it.

Rose grinned. “Okay, woo me.”

John’s grin matched hers in an instant. “Well hold on to your hat Rose Tyler.”


End file.
